In this lonely world, we were meant to be in love
I will never forget that first moment we met
When two worlds, they crashed in
And I found my best friend"
Taken from Godsend, DC Talk
It's over. But it shouldn't it begin first before it could actually end?
Last year, i had a crush (or so i thought) on this pretty girl from another faculty. C (the girl) was sweet, graceful and playful lah. I like the way she looked, her smile and hair. It was through CF activities that i got to know her, and tried talking to her lah. While she celebrated her birthday not too long ago, i found out that C was younger than me, and i was right! She probably had the qualities i would want in a girlfriend, who would eventually be my wife. I head over heels for this girl then.
However, she has someone in her life that matters to her. At that instant of knowing that fact, i knew i had to stay a distance. I personally know that there isn't anything fun being the third person in a relationship. Therefore, it's best to just be friends. Just be platonic.
The way i discovered about it was rather unintelligent. Both C and i played the silent game, trying our best to keep quiet and not talk for as long as possible (which i won lah!) And during that game, i asked for her phone number by typing it on my handphone and showing it to her. She asked why, and i added in "to court you lah!"
Her answer was something like, " Yes and no. Yes, you can have my number, and no, because i have someone close to me." That was (at that time) a joykill.
Thinking back, it wasn't such an intelligent thing to do lah. But thinking back again, it was just a crush lah. It was the hormones running over time. Anyway, I would just like to be friends with her (and all the other girls) for the moment. NO boyfriend-girlfriend relationship for me now, girls!
Here's the list of stupid things i've done when i had a crush on a girl:
1. Shave my head. (Yes, this long-haired dude was once bald!)
I did it to impress a girl, E, who was then in church. Once during a mission trip the youth had, i thought she liked guys who had a shiny head, which later appeared to be faulty info. I was all head over heels about her, because of her sincerity and smile.
Interesting fact is that E was once out with my close buddies, Justin and Kevan. And this caused them to be as tight as enemies. Fortunately, all this is behind us now. Where she is now, no one has an idea. (If you're trying to figure out who she is, just stop. If you think you know who she is, keep that thought to yourself. IF you KNOW her, err... then GOOD for you!)
2. Those awkward words
I blurred out the words "I love you" as a way to end a call when i was out of words. Thinking back, it was a terrible way to end a phone call conversation. And it's still is. Almost all the librarians in my alma matar knew that i had a thing for SS, a librarian herself.
3. Cheap gifts ain't gifts at all!
Giving another librarian a small Pikachu toy without admitting it. I guess by now, LLm should know that that cheap toy is indeed from me! (and i learnt that cheap stuff isn't that impressive after all!)
Perhaps being in a relationship isn't something for me. I guess being single and available is the best option for me now. This status enables me to focus more on the important stuff, like my studies, relationship with God, family members and friends and things i can do while being single, like flirting and embarassing myself.
But i'm not implying that being in a relationship is bad. There are pros and cons of being single or attached. As long as you can maintain the relationship, accept the other for who she/he is and be yourself, it's ok.
Has my dream girl passed by me yet? Yeah, perhaps.
Has my other half passed by me yet? Probably not.
"You're beautiful it's true,
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you."
Excerpts from You're Beautiful, James Blunt
Love & Peace!~