Monday, October 15, 2012


Sometimes, I wish I was the one who had died 14 years ago. Not my mom, but me- to suffer from cancer and die. This thought occurs every now and then.

Life is unfair, but God is good.

But I believe that things happen for a reason, and while a new live is born, another kicks the bucket and another continues living, each one has a role to play in impacting the lives of the people around them. Ultimately, it's God's plan- in which we cannot see or even begin to fathom about.

So, I've lived half my life without her. I miss her kindness, I miss her smile, her creativity, her wisdom, her love and how much she would sacrifice for my brothers and I.

I really miss my Mom. But I keep her in my memories. And with this memories, I want to move forward.

Perhaps she had made a deal with Death to spare her children as she takes the bullet. Who knows?

But one thing for sure is since I am living, I want to do my best, as much as I can - because God is good, and there is so much worth living for.

"Hello, good morning, how you do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is the way that I say I need You
This is the way that I'm

Learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies..."

Taken from Learning to Breathe by Switchfoot

Love & Peace!~