Just Laugh At Yourself (a.k.a. OF Pressure, Fruits and Cups)

The second half of 2006 is going to begin soon. How did you leave your mark in the previous half?

"Am I that strong to carry on
Have i changed your life
Have i changed my world
Could you save me?

And all of your ways, all you dream
Falls on me, it falls on me
And you beautiful sky, the light you breath
Falls on me it, falls on me."

Taken from Fuel's Fall On Me

I've been under pressure this few days lah. Work has been hazardous to me sanity. It's not that i hate what i'm doing now, but it's what happened recently.

I went to cover an award giving ceremony in Putrajaya an evening this week. Not only was it a grand event at night with a deputy minister giving a speech, but to my horror, i was the only journalist there! The besides the inside press people was my pix-man, Saiful and me. When i thought things couldn't be any worse, they had me to attend the press conference, with me being the only one asking the question. Having enough info, i just wanted to interview a representative of the winning team, not the minister. But it was insisted that the press conference was held to show face.

I immediately got out of the room once the press conference ended to call one of the assistant news editor. I panicked, and told her that the story should be in the main paper. Thank goodness Cindy manage to make sense out of the fuzzy situation and got me to calm down. She told me that should situation has made me felt uneasy and overwhelmed. So, she told me to just think about the story of the event properly and tell it to the head editor, Boon Siew the next morning. Plus, i had another assignment the next day.

I calmed myself down, took a long drive back home and thought of what happened that evening. I do recall Boon Siew and Jacquline (another assistant editor) telling me to look for the main focus/interest in any story. If you were to write something, ask yourself this question, "So what?" By keeping in view of this question, you can properly put a proper prespective on the story not only to make it interest, but also important to the readers. And do be wary, as people try their best to approach the press for free publicity on the paper.

Yesterday afternoon, upon arriving at work from my morning assignment in Bukit Kiara, there was this free medical check up in the office. The doctors checked our blood pressure and urine sample to see how health we are. He also explained that it's good to keep ourselves as health as possible.

And what could trigger the increase in BP? Stressful workload? Unhealthy lifestyle? The pretty nurse helping out the doctor? Yes, yes and err... yes.

I did go for the test and was advice to drink more water, cut down on meat and take more fruits. He also asked me if i'm stressed, since i had an unhealthy blood pressure ratio. I told him i lack sleep and had a lot in mind. He concluded i was a borderline case. But i have to change my lifestyle to be what i feared all this while: being an OMNIVOUR!

It's better to be stressed out while looking calm than being a calm person with an stressed up look. You'll understand better from this fictional conversation below:

Anon: Are you ok ah?

Bernard: Why?

Anon: You looked stress lah?

Coco: Yeah lah, Bernard, you look stressed up?

Bernard: Yeah meh?

Anon: Yup!

Bernard: Look, i may look stressed, but i'm not inside.

Coco: Sure or not?

Anon: You don't look un-stressed to me.

Bernard: Really!

Dingo: Yo, Bernard! Eh, why you so tensed wan?

Bernard: *$&@(#!~

Dingo: Confirmed lah!

Coco: Yeah... he's stressed out.

Bernard: *argh* (jumps off the office located on the fourth floor)

Perhaps during the check up, i had little sleep the previous night, got up early in the morning and had to worry about my Putrajaya assignment. And i've got more cups from the Putrajaya assignment. I guess once my industrial training is done, would have accumilated enough ceramic cups to hold a party without the need of plastic cups!

Having today off is good, since i can just laze around at home with out worrying about deadlines, though i still have to complete my articles in hand ASAP. But i just want to chill and be alone for now.

But i'm currently in a dilemma. I'm sure one of you reader have been in. One where you ask God,

"Why do i feel like this?!"
"If there is no way for us to be together, why am i feeling like this for her?"

It's eating me from within. I just want to know what's God's plan for me? What's to learn from it? Perhaps i should really try my best to listen to His voice and understand what He has prepared for me. Perhaps fully leaving everything to His plan is what i should do, and just don't take myself too seriously.

"I know my future's in Your hands
All of my hope and dreams and plans
You give me strength to live
And faith to succeed
I believe in You
Because You believe in me"

Chorus of My Future

Love & Peace!~


BC?