Saturday, August 09, 2008

Brick Bridge Fractured.

"...The color, the color, the color of your skin don't matter to me
As long as, as long as, long as we can live in harmony
I kinda, I kinda, I kinda, like to be the president
And I could, and I could, and I could show you how your money's spent

Why can't we be friends..."

Excerpt from Smash Mouth's Why Can't We Be Friends

While i was in (an all boy) primary school, i remember i had two good friends; Eng Seang and Heng Tian. Both Eng Seang and i were close as i would go to his place for Bahasa Malaysia tuition classes with our BM teacher, and we were close. As for Heng Tian, we used to spend time together as prefects and in group discussions. We were close.

Yes, 'were', in the past tense. I don't mind not jotting down they're names here, as i've lost contact with them. We were close more than ten years ago. But now, i've got no idea where they are now, what they're doing or if they are still alive?!

In secondary school (yes, again, all boys' school), there a whole new set of friends i grew close to. Some of them, i've lost contact. For the rest, we still keep in contact.

But to put in a nutshell, wherever we are, we tend to open up to people who we're with in a close proximity after awhile. And i think if we start drifting apart, will that friendship/relationship we have start breaking as well?

The times spent together, sharing things with one another, having fun times and sad moments....


Sometimes, i ask myself, is it worth keeping or starting a friendship? But what i know is to savour the moments when you're together with your friends, or even with the ones you love.

I'm sorry.

"...I can be your friend
I can be your friend
Any day in any weather
We can be friends and play together

Ya were all pretty different some are skinny some are stout
But the inside is the part were supposed to care about
Aye! thats why we have feelings that are very much the same
So instead of saying weirdo i think friends a better name..."

Taken from Veggie Tales's I Can Be Your Friend

Love & Peace!~



Pooi Chin said...

Oh course they are still alive!

Eng Seang's in London working and Heng Tian's uhmm... doing something, engineering-related.

You can find them in my facebook/friendster. Please do add them if you have not already.

Sometimes I do get tired of doing all the calling and getting people to come out and catch-up. But hey, someone's gotta pickup the phone coz it ain't gonna call by itself ;)

I do admit that I get lazy sometimes. But I try not to blame myself too much. So I agree with you that we should appreciate and treasure the time we have with people.

Anonymous said...

I personally however, have experienced how fickle 'friendship' can be. Most of the time, many people you meet are just that, people whom you happen to meet, who happen to be occupying that amount of space, and breathing the air in that vicinity.

Oh sure, for that moment, in that period of time, you laugh with them, joke with them, spend time with them...does that make them friends? They just happen to be people who were there at that moment. Thats all. I think of such people as acquaintances. Or even people whom i just happen to meet.

The term 'friend' shouldn't be so loosely bandied about, to be use on any tom, dick and harry that you meet and get to know for 5 minutes. Some people enter our lives briefly, enriching it(maybe) and teaching us a thing or 2 maybe (not always pleasant lessons), and sometimes, just showing us dumb jokes/videos (I remember my pure and innocent mind before being introduced to oogga-boogga and a certain crotch thrusting japanese man =P).

Then some leave. Some drift away. All friendships are based on some common activity or mutual interest after all. When such a mutual interest ends or that activity which united and binded you guys is finished, naturally people tend to drift apart with no common cause to draw them together.

And some reveal themselves for what they really are, especially when you are in trouble or in need of help. These kind of 'friends' one can especially do without. Many people who laugh with you, joke with you and spend time with you would hardly bother to lift a finger when you need them to.

Not everyone who entered your life, spent time with you is going to remain your friend forever. Maybe they were your friend back then, but then people change, grow up; and not all friendships survive change. Heck you guys may meet up, be amiable, friendly even. But you guys will no longer have what you used to have.

So treasure those who really are your friends, who may not always be beside you but stick with you thick or thin, who help you in anyway they can. Those who still bother to contact you even when miles apart.

Of course, then there's always the saying 'treat others how you want others to treat you'. So I guess maybe you should try contacting your old school friends mentioned in the post. Who knows, some friendships can be revived after all...the personality of an individual does tend to affect the ability to attract, retain and revive friendships. And you strike me as someone who will find it easier than others.

- Nemo

P.S. Thx for tryin to meet up while you were around. Hopefully I get to see how fat you've gotten on penang food next time lah =P

BlurChu? said...

Hey, Pooi Chin!

Well, me have no facebook lah, but i'll try to re-connect with those who i was close with, with all i can do lah! And yes, appreciate people around us.

And thanks for you insight, Nemo! I appreciate your cynical critiques, and honestly, i need a devil advocate, and you just fit the bill perfectly! Have a nice day, dude!